Archive for the ‘ Fantasy Football ’ Category

A little something from one of my favorite SI contributors, Bill Simmons…

You know how Mike Holmgren is retiring after this season? I think Andy Reid retired three years ago. That’s the only explanation. He just didn’t tell us. Our friend Mike Lombardi did a nice job breaking down the epic “Four Two-Minute Drills” debacle Sunday in Cincinnati; that game was so unbelievably bad that NFL Films should be working on a one-hour documentary about it. I’m not even kidding. That was the worst football game ever played. We need to spend a solid year interviewing people and breaking down the key moments so we can place it in its proper historical perspective.

(Note: I was forced to monitor it for fantasy purposes, which reminds me: Congrats to Donovan McNabb for throwing 58 times in a five-quarter game against a 1-8 team, ending up with just 17 points and officially ending my West Coast season once the Bills’ D and Marshawn Lynch somehow combined to make up a 26-point deficit on me, marking the fourth time this year that I lost in heartbreaking fashion on Monday night. I wish I had the heart to write a “Goodbye to Fantasy Football” letter like when Joey wrote his “Goodbye to Drugs” letter on the “Real World: Hollywood.” Dear fantasy football, I’m saying goodbye to you because you’ve done nothing but trick me and disappoint me. You told me you were my friend, but all you did was let me down. You wasted my Sundays, you wasted my Sundays …)

So, what would the Bengals-Eagles documentary be called? I vote for either “Four Hours Of Life That Nobody Will Get Back” or “The Longest Turd.” Either of these will do. I don’t care. And, yes, I wanted this show even before McNabb pushed the epicness (epicity? epiciousness? epicism?) of such a memorably putrid game by admitting he didn’t know the overtime rules. I thought Warren Sapp summed it up well:

“Donovan, your legacy will be throwing up in the Super Bowl, Rush Limbaugh and now — not knowing there were ties!!!”

I’d also throw in Campbell’s Chunky Soup commercials, but, yes, that’s probably it. I have watched far too much of the Eagles this season (again, for fantasy purposes) and would evaluate McNabb’s 2008 performance like so: out of shape, careless, semi-competitive and uninspiring. The fact that Philly can’t run the ball in short-yardage situations but McNabb never, ever, EVER runs QB draws or sneaks should tell you something. I think he just doesn’t want to get hit anymore. He seems like a guy on his way out of the league to me.

(Funniest e-mail of the week, from a Philly fan calling himself “Andy Reid”: “So, I pulled into my local drive-thru. After analyzing the menu for 25 minutes I quickly placed my order. As I pulled to the first window I was shocked to see Donovan McNabb working the register. Unfortunately, I pulled a foot away from the window. I had no idea how to get my money in there. Do I hand it in or try and throw it? I decided it would be better to waste five minutes backing out and pulling back in. After I handed Donovan my money, he threw my change five feet over my car. After receiving my food, I double-checked to make sure I had the right order. I checked for three minutes and knew they messed it up. I pulled back to the window to complain. After giving the employee a stare of mild confusion, he informed me that I had received what I ordered. I pulled away stunned.”)


Yes folks, the Gridiron Gurus are in first.



No thanks to Torry Holt and Ryan Grant.



But many thanks to my brother Rich…





Unlike the winners from 2005 and 2006, I am returning to play this year and will allow the league to TRY and win some of their money back. How generous am I?

No more happiness…

In Fantasy-land, that is. My team lost, despite only needing 6 points from 2 players combined. And to top it all off, Deuce is out for the year, which means my top 2 RBs are now out with injuries. It’s a wonder I’ve even won a game at all… I SO shoulda won that game. Stupid Saints.

Fantasy Football Happiness…

I wrote this in an Email to my bro this AM, and thought I’d just put it up in a post.

Good thing I decided to play Westbrook [Eagles RB] and McNabb [Eagles QB]yesterday. I got a total of 76 points from them, plus another 25 from the Dallas D, who is now on my good side again. :-)

I’ve got one more player (Cris Brown) going into tonight and it’s already over. 124-108.

In my JC league, I need a TD from either Colston or McAllister, or some combination of 150 Yds rushing/receiving between them. If one of them goes over 100yds, that’ll
seal the deal right there as we get 1pt/25 yds and 3pt bonus for +100.

It’s always nice to come home to a weekend without football (minus the part where we watched Penn State lose to [shudder] Michigan… (you know, the team that lost their first game to a Division II school? ) and find that your home team wiped out the opposition and your two fantasy teams played well enough to pull out the victory. Now I haven’t won my 2nd matchup yet, cause I still am losing, but I do have two players going tonight for the Saints on MNF and it looks like I’ll be able to pull out the W. Good times… that’ll make 3-0 in my JC league and lookin good.

Got the puppies this past weekend and things are starting to come down the homestretch to normalcy. We met GeGwee and Pop in Washington PA… “Why Washington…?” you may ask? Well it’s not cause we’re a little homesick for good old Montgomery Village… although we are. It’s actually about 1/2 way between here and Philly, and it was a great way to meet them and have them deliver the pups without too much trouble. Pop managed to tie their crates to the roof, the puppies hopped in the back and we had a grand old time. Stayes at a Red Roof Inn for pretty cheap — they accept pets with NO weight limit, so that was happy. They really behaved well (the DOGS, that is), and although it was a whirlwind 24-hour visit, it was a great time.

We’ll get to go back again in Nov for my cousin Kristen’s wedding, so it’s only another 6 weeks till GeGwee can get another dose of the mighty E. We’ll try to post some pix from the visit soon… God knows we took enough of them!

Later Shpater.

Nothing up my sleeve… PRESTO!

As quickly as it disappeared, the table has now been found (see previous post). Should be delivered by the end of the week. I’m sure there are other things that never made it to us, but nothing that seems so important that I’m going to lose sleep over at this point.

Spent the evening over at the house by myself the other night working in the basement… “Why the basement?” you ask? Cause that’s where the TV is! Can you say “Monday Night Football”???

Yes folks, I got to experience not one but.. count ‘em… TWO Monday Night Games. I could only hope for this to continue throughout the season, but I doubt it will. And it will be tough to keep up with those West Coast games if they don’t start till 10:30pm.

So my FF teams are 1-1. I won in the JC League, but lost by ONE POINT in my work league. Can I jsut say how much I really hate Dallas? I should have known better selecting their stupid defense… I lost a point when they allowed the Giants offense to run rampant and score a bazillion points. And in the end, I was undone by Tony Robo-QB hooking up with TO for 2 scores, throwing for 2 more and running for a 5th TD. Can you say MEGA-POINTS scored against Jeff? Oh well… at least the league is free. :-)